2012012012012012012012.

This is largely influenced by the much overhyped feature film that unsettled many,and disturbed many more(I mean seriously,why do they keep talking about breast enhancements ? :| )

Replete with a wide array of natural disasters,each more devastating than the other and an equally devastating taste in dogs(chihuahuas ? WITHOUT Paris Hilton ? Seriously ?) this movie was set to put forth to the world what was to come in a couple of years,or so they professed.While in all fairness,the earthquakes,megatsunamis,volcanoes and Ash storms did seem frighteningly real,the element of reason was a concept lost on the producers.

The incredulities of the movie apart,The prospect of what might really happen in 2012 still scares me like nothing else,well except paranormal activity,but that doesn't count. I digress. The Mayans,the duffers that they were,knew this for over a thousand years,yet did absolutely nothing about it.No rescue mission,no plan B.They couldn't even effectively communicate their findings to the rest of the world,leaving information in cryptic calendars and handing over the responsibility to characters like Nostradamus, who could put my digressions to shame.

Apparently,Judgement Day has been known for quite a while,interpreted differently by different folk.The norse called it Ragnarok,and theatrical as they are they pictured a muilti limbed mega sized monster making Humankind extinct. Catholics had a more peaceful version, they called it the apocalypse, which etymologically means unveiling. Being poetic to the level of outrage they described the gory,watery end of the Earth as a peaceful opening of the curtain to heaven.Abrahamic relegions,talk about a messiah,who will usher good people into heaven and the sun swallows the moon while the little dog laughs to see such fun and the dish runs away with the spoon,or er something like that.

While they all point in different directions,the central idea remains the same.The world is gonna end someday.We can only hope That someday is in a different time and a different place and wakes up as a different person :|
Or that it's in a galaxy far far away.


And now before i get carried away and start talking about Quentin Tarantino,let's consider our options with regard to this phenomenon. Let's start off by presuming the world is not gonna end(It just cannot,the Fifa world cup in Brazil is in 2014,wait for your turn apocalypse).Nope it's not happening.No this is not denial,no it's not,nope,Damn you.

Okay,say the world does end ? Is that so bad ? I'm sure we can find wormholes and pigeonholes and loopholes in the space-time-continuum or assholes who'll find them for us.Or we could just go back 20000 years and point and laugh at naked junglepeople who didn't know about fire. Best Case scenario,let's just sit and wait for that Savior dude to come with a much bigger ark than Noah's.Noah was a dumbass anyway,why couldn't he just squat the mosquito when he had the chance? Or,more practically,nations could pool in their resources and make a mega sub station suspended over the middle east with uncrushable titanium pipes extracting oil for fuel.Or better still,let's trust the movie, save up and have a long winter vacation in Africa three years hence.

Doesn't look too good does it ? Hope for the best. I'm not too worried,only I am. And no,I don't intend to confuse people with conflicting statements.Let's just call me an oxy-moron and move on to the next dimension :|

Meat the Buddhists.

It's common knowledge that Asians eat everything under the sun. Insects,reptiles,you name it they've digested that. For reasons of simplicity,let's just talk about converted Buddhist monks in Singapore. Yeah,so apparently these people have developed an alternate cuisine to bring about a via-media between their religious and culinary quirks.

What do you get when you mix Buddhist vegetarian regulations and ferocious oriental taste buds ? You get Yuan Xiang non vegetarian vegetarian food,which in layman terms means mock meat.

What these ingenious,almost hypocritical fellas have done is developed chicken satay,sweet and sour chicken and an array of seafood made entirely out of wheat and tofu. Sounds ugly,doesn't it? It tastes uglier.

Being a self imposed vegetarian (at the risk of being called a veggina one-two-many times),I was nervous about how good it'd taste. Not that i haven't eaten chicken before,i used to gorge on it when i was a lot younger apparently,before a hot chick family friend wise crack'ed about how she could hear a "cluck cluck" sound in my tummy and scarred my impressionable mind forever. That and her tank top,I remember vividly.


My digressions aside,as far as this case goes,if a spoilt appetite and an aftertaste of cold feet are anything to go by,the food sucked. Miserably.What's funnier is how a Malay couple in the next table were smacking their lips after a meal of sweet and sour chicken(that tasted like a refined version of apsara's non dust eraser cooked in a gravy that'd put MTR's ready made subzis to shame) which i tried later on and regretted.If you've switched over to Buddhsim,bloody well eat what the usual Buddhists eat.Why would anybody want to subject themselves to this kind of torture and pretend to like it ? My intention was pure curiosity which loop the loop'ed into subsequent disgust,partly because it wasn't edible and partly because I wasn't allowed beer as i was underage.Don't let the banners mislead you,while although they make the food look good i'd reckon these buggers had better give up pseudo vegetarianism and leave beauty to be skin deep only(pun intended).


Anywho if you're a fan of seafood,I'd suggest you head straight to the seafood counter and give this category a skip,maybe a hop and jump too.And while you're at it,Don't miss out Singapore's interpretation of a tandoori roti and their ice creams,those are brilliant !In all fairness,it's a lovely country and makes for an awesome holiday destination.But the next time I'm there,I'mma stick to pizza,french fries and ice cream.

Tout Ensemble,It's only us Indians who can misinterpret world cuisine and still make it taste fantastic ! ;)

:|

Finally,after more than two years of procrastination fueled by generous amounts of encouragement and a couple of "put it up already you lazy dawg"s,here goes nothing !
Tada !